Almost perfect day in Alex

 Hi, my dear readers, I have just had the feeling like I have to type some lines about my lovely yesterday. Do you know that feeling when you manage getting closer to someone that you always have wanted to be closer to? I had it yesterday. My mother-in-law is visiting me, or shall I say baby-sitting me? Just in case, my little nunu can be born any day and it is not bad to have an experienced woman around, I must say.
But why do I feel so much inner comfort about all this absolutely breaking event in my life? Is it because I have finally found my inner peace or I just don't know what to be afraid of? I can't really define it. I just feel fine. I have always wanted to be mum. But  now I also have a chance to spend time with the mum who gave me the man of my life.She is in the same age like my own mum. I felt comfortable with this woman from the first time we met, it was here in Alex. Hot summer, I was in shock, as I was introduced to the parents of my husband and it all went so fast, unexpected, no preparation, no delays, simply done and khalas. Meeting after meeting, day by day, that we could spend together I felt we have so much in common, but still... are different in certain ways. I feel so much warmth when she welcomes me with her wahashteni. She is so eager to help me around household that I get painful desire to finish any possible kind of work before she comes, so that she has no such impression like I am expecting her help or use her for my comfort. My mum gave me the restless attitude to work, I can't sit and watch my mother-in-law working around me. I hate myself for letting her work hard. But this woman knows no rest. If I finish all work, she will find herself any of it  just to stay active.I gave up after months. How can I ever compete with this energy source? But you know what? I decided to find my way to her, so that we do not compete, but match !!! Just this day yesterday we enjoyed walking outside and shopping first by our eyes.

Something really nice happened too. Mama Mimi, as I sometimes call her, she has found the pharmacy owned by her long time friend,  madame Amira. How wonderful it is to meet a friend after many years! And what a wonderful person this friend is too. I remember we were searching for her pharmacy some weeks ago, no success,and guess what, she is almost across the street. Sometimes you can't see right in front of your nose even if you have things directly under it. But more about it a bit later.

That was just the beginning of a beautiful day. Why do I call it almost perfect? Because I miss my husband in it. He is in Cairo and I can just wait for his phone calls and wish he comes back on Thursday and stay with me at home as much as he can. Funny how I miss him even if we are in different rooms. His mum is a lucky woman to have such son. And I am lucky to have him by my side. Sometimes I wonder if i deserve so much from life or divine power...
In few days I can call myself mama and will try to be as good as my two perfect mums are.
Mama Mimi is in her nature a stubborn woman with her own views and knowledge of things. It is not easy to persuade her to do anything in a new way, no matter how much this new something  can be good for her. It takes me enormous time to make her accept some of my ideas or ways. But with patience and explaining attitude I somehow slowly manage. There is a way to this woman, people. She is just a hard nut. But inside the shell there is a lovely caring mind worth exploring and admiring. Do you know how long it has taken me to make her accept a simple present from me and actually use it for her own good? One such thing was a decorative hair comb, a nice and practical object, and she really put it in her hair, hmmmmm, I won. Then I tried a handbag. She never used it because in her opinion it is too nice and it must be "saved". For what? I told her, in year of "saving" it will turn wahesh, so what's the use of putting it in wardrobe and keep it for later? No help, I got the handbag back... Nevermind, I will not give up. And yesterday I finally won again.  

All household work done, because , and I am smiling  now, I am like that, I like things done my way and using my hands, could not wait for my mother-in-law to come and do it her way, so we had plenty of time and energy to spend on our new common hobby. I put my jiba on, a nice red T-shirt and off we went to the streets. Our doorman downstairs,Mahmoud, half asleep most of the time just greeted us lazily with his typical sabah el kheyr or something like that and the sun lit our heads finally. How I love sunshine. Our first steps that day actually led in the direction to shera Alexander Ibrahim, but as we walked few meters, mom suddenly pulled me to cross the road and headed to a pharmacy next to the mosque. There in the door a woman with wide and lovely smile was already waving at us from a distance. Believe it or not, this was mama’s Mimi long time friend Amira who moved to Alex long ago and they haven’t seen each other,so you can imagine the joy. They exchanged all the possible information, lot of catching up, indeed, but madame Amira was holding my hand all the time after we were introduced. A sign for me that I am welcome and it feels really nice.  Egyptians are like this, only most of you have never met them this way. Trust me, any hotel experience you might have from here has nothing to do with the spirit of these people. So I have a new friend from now on. And her employee, Dr. Aziz, is another pleasant person to talk to.

What a lovely start of our day !!! We cruised in the neighboring street, have found expensive shops with baby clothes, and came back to our street and refreshed shortly at home, but only because I should eat more these days and mom needs her pause too. Then we went out again for even longer.

We spent hours later walking in the street called Khaled Abnal Waleed, that one where I first met my parents-in-law almost two years ago. In the picture below you can see what I mean when I say it looks like a fire snake crawling to the sea or a river of small lights crooking and flowing to the dark in the distance. Back then my husband’s parents rented a flat in the top floor, this is a traditional Alexandrian thing, many people come over here in summer, rent some flat and enjoy bathing in the sea and evening walks combined with spending money they have made and saved for this purpose. I have walked in this street many times since then with them, eating sudeni or ice cream,  looking for nice and cheap stuff to buy, then turning back home. But this time it was different, just me and mama Mimi, two women, no need to hurry, no men chasing us or making bored faces.  That might have been the key to our quality time. We were finally not disturbed.

Our walk was a lovely time of two women who like shopping the same way, first check and look around a lot, then decide what to buy. I got new bantalon, the kind I love wearing, simple black straight easily combined with any color top. Wash and hang, no ironing, just love them!  And the red velvet ship-ship, hmmmmmm, a delicious new pair in my collection. I got the same for my mum, will bring her these soon I hope. They are red as blood and so soft like spring grass under your feet. And then it happened again. Mama Mimi has noticed shiny rings and has even chosen one to buy, so I got it for her. She is wearing it right now, looks so lovely on her hand.  

Coming back home we were chatting and laughing... and finally I found myself sticking shiny little stickers on her toe nails. They match with her new brown shoes. I can make her look ten years younger if she lets me. And she actually did, I felt her changing slowly into an open diary of hidden feelings to share. And it hit me all of a sudden, she never had a woman to talk to,sure she has friends and colleagues at work, but do they talk about personal issues among each other? I seriously doubt it. So maybe I have touched her personality in that spot where she needed and after some time together and exploring each others ways we simply talk in a more open way about stuff I would not expect. Some of those topics I will keep a secret, if you allow me, I just don’t want to damage the fragile new development and maybe it is enough to mention we talked about her young years and her own path to be married and becoming a mom to her two sons. As you all know each generation is different and it opens a lot of gaps in points of view and solutions to problems in individual representatives of various ages, but here I was chatting with my soulmate 25 years older, yet in many points thinking and feeling my way. She is only perfectly lonely with all her thoughts. Well, not anymore.

* nunu - baby (Egyptian Arabic)
   khalas - enough,that's it, ok
   wahashteni - I miss you
   wahesh - ugly, bad

   jiba - skirt ( for Slovak readers, sounds like žiba)
   sabah el kheyr - good morning

   sudeni - peanuts

   bantalon - trousers

   ship-ship - flip flop shoes

LABELS

The newest developments in Egypt and within its society make me think every day so intensively that I often forget my own troubles back in Slovakia. I could mention a lovely pile of those. But I am somehow in the middle of happening right here, in Alexandria. I like watching news for just staying informed. The latest are of course not very comforting. There are still protests going on, not with such intensity as before, sure, but still... I get weird feeling that way. And behind the curtain of Arabic alphabet I sometimes get information about religious extremists taking plenty of actions and steps to win the popularity and favor of masses for themselves. They have various names, "labels" as I refer to them and I really do not like labels, people. We use them daily, I mean notoriously, but it is an invention devastating us so much and so deep I would say that we lose our own opinion and point of view and often tend to play with the others, just like herd of sheep. I may apply plenty of such labels to myself, but why? People ask me if I am a Christian, if I am a socialist, capitalist, businesswoman, teacher ... Hard to say. What makes me a Christian? I might have socialist's attitude to many life spheres, but am I really one? I like making money, so am I a proper capitalist? Just because I had my own business? I don't want to be labeled, that is what I know. Being just a woman with a mixture of opinions and bunch of great friends around who might be way different in their ways of life. Why should "labels" stand in the way to friendship, or love? I know such couples. Sad. Really sad stories. Who made those labels fall upon us? I guess, it was again us, people,mankind,and it is crawling with us throughout thousands of years. But ask yourself a question. What makes one person undesirable for another? It can be a big difference in personality, of course, but how often is it not that case? I see families preventing couples being married because he or she is " ........." . Tha fact that this person is a great partner in character and manners and intelligence plays no role whatsoever. Shame on us, people. When will we wake up from our own nightmare and see the light of knowledge? We are building walls between cultures instead of bridges. We close doors so that others can't see into our matters. Making everything secretful and mysterious can be pretty unhealthy for the society living its new era. 

One of my most detested labels is religion label. Count them please, how many can you come up with? No chance to reach a final number, new will emerge. But once I heard a wise man say this: " Think about the words religion and faith. " So I took my time, walked and thought for some time. To me they seemed synonyms, related somehow. I am a woman with interest in linguistics, maybe that's why. But at the end... are they at all synonyms? I have a humble opinion that any higher power we believe in and worship will never judge us by our "religion label". What will ever count is how strong and pure our faith in it has been. What actions we took and what thoughts we had in our lives. I suppose we can call ourselves "anything". If we turn to divine power with pure hearts and thoughts, we achieve that state of peace we seek. Works in my case. 

Mankind can take wisdom from all the holy books ever written and given to it. But do we really do so? I can't help myself I don't feel it. They serve us to label us and others. I don't want to carry that kind of sign. I was brought up in certain way, but it doesn't mean I can't interact with people who grew up under other traditions and live other lifestyle than mine. To be very harsh in my language, being "christian" does not make me feel I may not eat kosher soup or read Koran and discuss it with a "muslim". I think its high time for us,"labels" to interact and cooperate, so that certain powers have no chance to succeed in overtaking the rule over our lives. We have a right to live together and share, and I see how we do opposite. Is there a cure? Or a way? Way to the hearts of people who all want freedom and peace, but when they can do something for this, they prefer being hidden, silent and passive? I wish I could spread this message among Egyptians now first of all, but definitely not only among them, the whole mankind is still living in dark ages of medieval times when "religion label" decided everything for you. I must say that I have amazing friends in this world, they are other "labels" and yet they can be my friends, advisors, new family, beloved people who enlighten my days.
I don't want to lose my identity and personal freedom in favor of anything like "........" NO. I seek originality and limitless possibilities to bond with people. Of any race, nationality, religion, position, gender, .... That is why I use my two most accurate labels to rate people around me. Good and bad.

Slová nám často pomáhajú, keď si  ich zapíšeme, na pamiatku.  Vedia potešiť i zraniť, vysvetliť, zahmliť, prekrútiť... no i očariť či zahanbiť, a toľko iných trikov... Ja chcem mojimi slovami napísať príbeh o mne svojej mame.  Videla skoro celý môj doterajší  život,  ako plynul,  či skôr  plápolal ako slabý plamienok, čo sa nevie rozhorieť.  Aspoň mne tak môj  život  pripadá,  keď sa obzriem naspäť.  No môj príbeh patrí aj mojej rodine,  priateľom,  dokonca i nepriateľom.  Môjmu manželovi  a synovi, vlastne o nich to celé rozprávanie bude.  Venujem  ho všetkým ľuďom, ktorí v slovách, čo plnia príbehy, hľadajú čriepky svojich vlastných snov, túžob, alebo podobné príbehy tým svojim.  Tieto slová by mali mnohým odpovedať na ich vypovedané i nikdy nevyslovené otázky. Prečo som odišla žiť práve sem? Nech sa teda nechajú pozvať do krajiny, kde exotika sa snúbi  s nepoznanými vôňami a dejinami, z ktorých dodnes ľudstvo žije.

Moje slová venujem mojej mame, ktorá ich snáď len na čas stratila. Skúsim jej takto pomôcť rozprávať sa so mnou naďalej,  poznám ju tak dobre, hádam vystihnem jej myšlienky a pocity. Vraví sa, že spisovateľom slúžia ich slová ako maliarovi štetec. Tak tieto majú namaľovať obraz o mojom živote ďaleko od rodiny, mamy, otca, bratov, ktorí však netušia ako blízko celý čas sú, lebo nie vždy sa to dá slovami vypovedať. A tak ich píšem.  Pomaly a trpezlivo sa pokúsim nakresliť portrét, aký sa mi vlastne ani nesníval, a teraz ho žijem.  A kde to všetko vzniká? Nuž,  milé mamy, otcovia dospievajúcich dcér,  bratia, vy, ktorí sa skryto obávate, že vaše sestry, dcéry, priateľky podľahnú kúzlu orientu,  veru tak, moje rozprávanie sa odohráva v Egypte, v krásnom meste Alexandria, blízko magického a tyrkysového mora, v skromnom byte, ktorý volám domovom.  Nebudem predstierať nič, žiadne ružové okuliare nenosím.  No i tak je to príbeh o láske.  Ona totiž ozaj existuje, a to som donedávna tvrdila skôr opak.  O takej láske, ktorá mení život v lepší, ale za cenu mnohých slzičiek a obetí. O takej, čo vám dá silu žiť a snívať, ale do slov sa len ťažko ukladá.

Nájdete tu veľa nových vedomostí o inej mentalite a kultúre, nazvime to takto veľkolepo, tak ako som sa ja postupne dozvedala a učila novému spôsobu života. I keď musím pripustiť, že až taká veľká zmena to zas nie je. Nejeden z nás si teraz predstavuje zahalenú ženu, ktorá sa pokúša svetu tvrdiť , aké je to zaujímavé a potrebné nosiť závoj,nie, ja nie som zahalená. Ale to všetko po poriadku.  

Words often help us, if we write them down, for memory. They can bring joy or hurt us, explain,  dim, twist the content... but also amaze or embarrase, and so many other tricks... With my words I want to write a story about me for my mum. She has seen almost my whole life, as it was flowing, or better to say burning  as a weak flame that cannot blaze. At least that is the way I see my life, when I look back. But my story belongs to my family, too,  and to friends and even to enemies. To my husband and son, the whole narration is actually about them.  I devote it to all people, who in such words filling stories search for fragments of their own dreams, desires, or similar stories to their own lives.  These words should answer to all outspoken or never outspoken questions.  Why have I left to life here exactly? So may they all be invited to the country where exotics is combined with unknown scents and history, from which the mankind lives up to now.

My words I devote to my mother, who has lost them, hopefully only for some time. I will try to help her talking to me this way, I know her well, maybe I can capture her ideas and feelings.  It is said that words serve to a writer  as a brush to a painter. So these are to paint a picture of my life far away from my family, mum, father, brothers, who actually have no idea how close they remain the whole time, because that is not easy to express in spoken words. So I type them. Slowly and patiently I will try to paint a portrait about which I have never  even dreamed before, and now I am living it. And where all this is being created? Well, dear mums, fathers of adolescent daughters, brothers, you, who hide your fears that your sisters, daughters, friends will fall for the magic of orient, yes, my story is placed in Egypt, in a beautiful city of Alexandria, close to the marvelous turquoise sea, in a modest flat, which I call home. I will not pretend anything, I wear no pink glasses. Anyway, it is a story about love. It exists,  though I was claiming the opposite up to recently.  About  love  changing life into better, but that costs a lot of small tears and sacrifices. About such love which gives you a power to live on and dream, but it’s very hard to put down in words.

You will find here a lot of knowledge about another mentality and culture, let’s give it such spectacular title, just like I have found out step by step  and learned the new style of life. Although I have to admit that it was not such a big change in the end.   Many of you might now imagine a woman wearing a veil who is trying to persuade the world it is so interesting and important to wear it, no, I am not veiled. But to all this we come later.